Experience has value & where I'm at now
by P.E. Mari 3:32 pm 0 comments
In the last real period of consistent content on this blog, I was on the verge of adulthood and college. I was confused, excited, and deeply aware of being in a transition time. I stopped blogging in college.
It's different; my interests changed, my time became further constrained, and I felt like I had exhausted everything I wanted to say about YA and books. I returned to being a fan, reading books on vacation, but also allowed myself the intellectual freedom to explore other interests. I became deeply interested in feminism, Canadian politics, and rather than, or in addition to, reading books, I started to read longform journalism.
I changed. I still read YA. I also read adult. I also read the news. All of what I was remains true, but evolved. Perhaps more mature, perhaps more thoughtful.
When you're young, you understate the value of experience. Everything is always new, and that's fun. It's exciting. It's also deeply anxiety-inducing. Moving out to live on my own at 17 was very difficult. Adjusting to college was difficult. Getting my first real job was incredible. Attending company recruitment events, adapting to office culture, soon I'll be studying in another country. Networking at conferences. I'm not an expert at these things, but I've done them, and that's valuable.
I'm writing this post not because I'm done learning or growing. There are many things I have not done, and there are new stressors that have come up in my life. But I have been pondering adulthood for a long time, and as I am now 20 years old, I believe there is one truth I have discovered, at least for the moment.
Things don't get easier. There are studies that say you are about the same level of happy throughout your entire life. But having dealt with tough situations before, I know that I can deal with other tough situations again. It's not that life is any easier. I just feel better equipped to handle it. I feel more confident that everything will end up being okay because bad things have happened and life goes on. Experience has value.
I hope that is reassuring to everyone worried about the future and nervous about starting college. moving away from home, getting your first job, etc. I know it's easy to be reasonable and calm in retrospect. Hell, now I'm applying for jobs, not merely for the short term, but for a career and it is really hard and scary. I don't know if I'll get the job I want. I don't know if I'll bomb the interviews. I don't even know where I'll live. But, at this particular moment, I think it'll turn out okay. At least, I hope it will. If one path doesn't work out, I'll try another, and eventually I'll get to where I want to be. I think you will too.